Ok, so I found myself day dreaming about the 'what ifs' and those little moments when you wished you had said or done something because a deep, lost part of you has made you believe that it would have changed in some way, the way things actually turned out. I think as a disclaimer to this particular post I would like to say that it may get a bit cliche, but you know what? Fuck it, somebody has to say it.
So, watching a movie, I had a bunch of thoughts and memories shuffle back into my head that I rather not think about for my own good. Never the less, that shit came right back to me. I guess that when we think about 'love' or possible relationships, we idealize a scenario that would mean just that: being in love or in a relationship. Our subconscious has been receiving an enormous amount of information since before we could talk, information that from day 1 started to build and put itself together into what we now believe, our culture, traditions, subjective thinking. This is why love has turned into our curse. We have a predetermined idea of what everything should be, what everyone should say, do, gift, show, how they should react, what steps they must take, who texts first, who hangs up last; it's all a bunch of fictional crap that yes, is pretty amazing but in most cases far from reality.
And so we enter my first general thought: realist. These are the giant group of people who have tried, at least, to come to peace with the idea that nothing is like the movies, books, fairy tales. These are the people who pretty much know what they want and are sure that it will not all be a John Green or Nicholas Sparks novel. In other words, they don't believe the crap that has been fed to us since forever. Now, personally, I think that being a realist has a plus side: knowing not to expect the imposisble. This is a big deal, mostly because us humans love to dream that the most unlikely thing will happen to us and so we wait for it day in and day out. And, come on, anticipation and waiting fucking sucks, specially when there is nothing probably coming. So, realist don't take no shit from nobody, they have a smaller, more likely goal to achieve.
Now, the other group of fewer people are the hopeless romantics (probably the anti-realist). They wish, hope, and dream about a thousand different scenarios happening to them. The guy with the boombox outside your window, the kiss that wakes you up from an eternal sleep, the guy who takes you to Amsterdam, the girl who waits for you when you go to the moon, etc. etc. etc. I mean, it's all real nice, but definitely very unlikely. Hopeless romantics expose themselves to heartbreak in more ways than realist because they usually put everything out on the table hoping to get something breathtaking in return; they do the impossible. The perks of being a hopeless romantic is the adventure, the ride; the fact that they do not play it safe makes their lives that much interesting and fulfilled at the end of the day which also makes for amazing stories to tell or write about.
I think it would be naive of me to place myself into one of these two categories that I have so briefly described. Nevertheless, I will say this: in my life I have experienced more than I thought I would in many ways, all of this taught me that time goes by way too fast for someone to simply wait, for someone to sit and expect everything to come perfectly your way; life has taught me that if you really want something not only do you do absolutely everything to get it but once it is yours, you give yourself completely because there is nothing more beautiful than knowing that all of you has been put on the table, every effort and action has been completely your all and best, even better than that, there is nothing like the peace of knowing you 'left it all in the field' when it is all said and done. I've also learned that second chances should be given out if you feel it is not only right, but true. It is very easy to deny someone or even yourself a second chance at anything that could be remotely beautiful, which is why I encourage you to fight for what you want, stand up for what you believe, never regret anything, let people back into your life, try things that maybe didn't work out the first time, try things that you know can be incredible, just don't be scared to get hurt or lose because that is the most selfish thing you could do to yourself.
N.
So, watching a movie, I had a bunch of thoughts and memories shuffle back into my head that I rather not think about for my own good. Never the less, that shit came right back to me. I guess that when we think about 'love' or possible relationships, we idealize a scenario that would mean just that: being in love or in a relationship. Our subconscious has been receiving an enormous amount of information since before we could talk, information that from day 1 started to build and put itself together into what we now believe, our culture, traditions, subjective thinking. This is why love has turned into our curse. We have a predetermined idea of what everything should be, what everyone should say, do, gift, show, how they should react, what steps they must take, who texts first, who hangs up last; it's all a bunch of fictional crap that yes, is pretty amazing but in most cases far from reality.
And so we enter my first general thought: realist. These are the giant group of people who have tried, at least, to come to peace with the idea that nothing is like the movies, books, fairy tales. These are the people who pretty much know what they want and are sure that it will not all be a John Green or Nicholas Sparks novel. In other words, they don't believe the crap that has been fed to us since forever. Now, personally, I think that being a realist has a plus side: knowing not to expect the imposisble. This is a big deal, mostly because us humans love to dream that the most unlikely thing will happen to us and so we wait for it day in and day out. And, come on, anticipation and waiting fucking sucks, specially when there is nothing probably coming. So, realist don't take no shit from nobody, they have a smaller, more likely goal to achieve.
Now, the other group of fewer people are the hopeless romantics (probably the anti-realist). They wish, hope, and dream about a thousand different scenarios happening to them. The guy with the boombox outside your window, the kiss that wakes you up from an eternal sleep, the guy who takes you to Amsterdam, the girl who waits for you when you go to the moon, etc. etc. etc. I mean, it's all real nice, but definitely very unlikely. Hopeless romantics expose themselves to heartbreak in more ways than realist because they usually put everything out on the table hoping to get something breathtaking in return; they do the impossible. The perks of being a hopeless romantic is the adventure, the ride; the fact that they do not play it safe makes their lives that much interesting and fulfilled at the end of the day which also makes for amazing stories to tell or write about.
I think it would be naive of me to place myself into one of these two categories that I have so briefly described. Nevertheless, I will say this: in my life I have experienced more than I thought I would in many ways, all of this taught me that time goes by way too fast for someone to simply wait, for someone to sit and expect everything to come perfectly your way; life has taught me that if you really want something not only do you do absolutely everything to get it but once it is yours, you give yourself completely because there is nothing more beautiful than knowing that all of you has been put on the table, every effort and action has been completely your all and best, even better than that, there is nothing like the peace of knowing you 'left it all in the field' when it is all said and done. I've also learned that second chances should be given out if you feel it is not only right, but true. It is very easy to deny someone or even yourself a second chance at anything that could be remotely beautiful, which is why I encourage you to fight for what you want, stand up for what you believe, never regret anything, let people back into your life, try things that maybe didn't work out the first time, try things that you know can be incredible, just don't be scared to get hurt or lose because that is the most selfish thing you could do to yourself.
N.